Post count

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Post Counts and Speeds

  • Burt's speed will always be slower than Julie's regardless of anyones post count***
  • Marcus's Post count doesn't matter as his car is always broken [1][2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7]

Post Count Speed
0 You may WALK past a showroom and look in.
1 - 100 You may look at someone else's car.
101 - 199 You can now pour petrol down the side of your car when filling it up and post about it.
200 - 399 You may look at your car.
400 - 800 You may take pictures of your car and share (posting images of Renault Clios will only be accepted if the poster is a retired grandmother who uses it as her shopping car and to get to bingo as that is what they were designed for).
801 - 999 Sit in your car and make brum brum noises.

20LT4855s.jpg © Simon Trees

1,000+ Drive your car in line with the speed limit during day light hours if dry.
1,500 You may now join the SELOC F1 league at
2,000+ You may now drive in the wet in your car.
4,000+ You may now drive your car at night.
5,000+ You may advise others over the recommended purchase price of second hand garden structures (dry or moist).
6,000+ You may now brag about breaking the speed limit, however you are not actually allowed to drive at speed yet.
7,658 You may now consider putting on sticky tyres, only to be told that you should upgrade your toe links first
8,000+ You may now discuss vapour ware, you know all those upgrades that you know you want, but will never apply.
9,000+ You may drive at +5mph Over the speed limit.
10,000+ You may now post on threads warning other seloc members of the danger of 'diesel' especially in the winter months when there is more 'diesel' around.
12,000+ You are now allowed to use sticky tryes on your Elise
14,000+ You are now allowed to travel at 100mph + and discuss on Seloc
20,000+ You can now drive around trees with ease.
22,000+ You may now post up video's on YouTube of excess speed and chasing a motorbike on the M1
24,000+ Drive as fast as you like anywhere, any time. You are a driving God! (Excluding Burt)
30,036 When you think there is a 30,000 Post count in the Wiki and you missed it. Or your name is Marcus and you're a cock!
35,000 The laws of Physics no longer apply.
44,444 This is the time to tell SELOC of your cunning plan.
50,001 Welcome to the half century club. There was a little party planned with finger food and everything. Unfortunately Taz was here first and he's eaten everything. No, I think I can see a cheese and grape stick at the...........No he saw it as well.
  • Suggestions as to the amount of posts needed to kill a badger are greatly appreciated.

Post Count Bonus Hiatus
720 An important post where you should enquire to the cost of any item
946 Permitted to make judgements on Nurburgring accidents.
1380 Time to slip into your Safari driving gloves and hit the Savannah, posting a family photo with your trophy wins bonus points, everything goes, but Giraffes, as that would be sick.
7400 A very dangerous post count to be on, suggest you continue on to 7401 to avoid a foot slipping moment
17,073 Ask for financial advice, and expect 16 pages lynching you for buying lunch or owning more than

6x 24-27" monitors, 2x projectors, TVs: 50" in lounge,26" in kitchen, 42" in bedroom 32"/26" in the kids bedrooms, 24" in bathroom, 26" in the server room 3 xbox 360, 2x ps3s, 1x xbone, 1x wii, 2x psp, 3x nds, 1x 3ds, 1x Xbox, 1x ps2, pc under the basement stairs lighting controls, remote window openers, full 42u rack full of network and AV switch gear, 7.2 set up in cinema, 5.1 in lounge, master bedroom and kids playroom, sim racing pc with fanatec wheel, bmw gt3 rim, and club sport pedals Crestron controlled tropical fish tank Not to mention iPads, Macbook Air, Apple TV etc (194 current ip addresses in the house)

20637 Time to moan that one of your robot cleaning devices has gone blind...
100001 Time to rush outside and touch the first real person you see, conversation will take a few thousand more posts, so don't worry too much.